Halloween A'Comin'!
The coming Spook-A-Day is my second favorite holiday. I always like to dress up even if I have no place to go. That's all I have to say at the moment. Please watch this space for a jack-o-lantern illustration!

STICKY HEAD
I know, I know, I know, it's been ages since I've posted. Well, goddammit, my computer's been down! Though I liked to hear and feel the "click" of my fingernails on its keys, Don's lap-top and my nervous system weren't in any position to blog. That's just the way it is. Was. Now I have a new power pack (times two--I also took 1-1/2 meds today!) and while the 'puter was at the clinic, I rearranged my office, much to Don's dismay, cuz he can't tolerate change, poor boy, but such a wonderful healing thing for me! So, I'm a brand new girl. In sum, I have the strength and courage to write a little bit about my own peculiar psychology.
The power of love presupposes loss. And you can quote me. That is, my human heart stretches out in a handful of directions with deep love and adoration. I so love people, and a dog, but beneath my cascades of sweet emotion is that chilling fear of loss. That's a mental construct that fosters my clingy nature; both Don and Buckwheat can sure testify to that; it just so happens they both appear to thrive on on it somewhat. But there are others to whom these sticky tendrils--nurtured in my heart, flipped up to my brain, projected, unbidden, straight out to those I love and whose presence I crave--are off-putting and, metaphysically, might in fact be pushing them away--those very people I would choose to be more involved in my life. Aw, screw it.
That's enough about my bizarre sticky head. I'm working on staying present and loving for the sake of loving alone. It's well worth it. Now, if you'll excuse me, por favor, I must go clean and shop--two favorite escapes from mercurial mentalizing!!

WHAT I KNOW=
Just to clarify: Buckwheat didn't make it with us last time, contrary to my last post. Maybe tomorrow, if we go to the boat as I am hoping. Meanwhile, Don had a few teeth pulled at the VA yesterday, and I had the enlightening opportunity to stand in line with a bunch of vets as I waited for Don's medication. Medication is an important thing. The two men behind me chatted about it--prescription and otherwise. The man I let stand ahead of me in the line could only grumble and complain, because he was gonna miss an appointment after already waiting three hours for his medication, and here he was, still waiting, and no clue when he'd be graced with the small brown bag festooned with computer printouts and holding his precious meds. He got 'em, with a few minutes to spare. In other news: my computer is on the fritz. Don lent me his laptop and set me up with my e-mail. So I'll be okay until my own machine returns. We think its power pack is sick. Maybe dead. It could be even more serious.
I don't want to think about it. On TV a few minutes ago I saw an interview with author and UCLA professor Carolyn See. She says people try too hard to write outside themselves, thinking their own lives are too boring and mundane to write about. She says to write about your obsessions, what you love or hate. I only know that I veer away from hatred always, and temper my love enough so that I don't appear too crazy. What do I know? . . . that life and love become more dear as each day goes by. That Buckwheat personifies unconditional love. That he and Don are probably the most honest individuals I have ever met in my life. Oh, and that buying that boat was the right decision! Tune in later for deeper thoughts.

GIFTS OF NATURAL FLOW
Today the three of us (that's right--Buckwheat, too!) are heading down to the boat, which we've done a number of times since we got her. We sailed once, with Bill navigating. Heaven! We even spent the night--also, just once so far--with the boy, and he left a legacy of shed fur in the cockpit, but we forgive his organic natural flow. (That's him and my knee at the hatch.) Speaking of natural flow--two items have recently flowed oh so naturally into our lives, for which we are regularly thrilled and utterly grateful. The boat, of course, and a new bed. I have to talk about this bed! I have been wanting a King Size bed for ages. We were trying to sleep on an old and highly un-comfy queen. The three of us. Then, poof! A neighbor offers us his king size bed frame, free! Not something I'd go out and select and buy, but hey! The gifts of natural flow are surprising and whimsical and often just right. The bed is dark cherry, carved with leaves, grooves and curves and things, and is a four-poster! But these aren't just any posts.... they're 5-feet tall, from mattress top to tip! The headboard tips and dips in a Goth fleur de lis style. In fact, the bed is so Goth I'm thinking one of Don's characters from Past Sins must have shimmied down this rococo resting place from the Astral Realm, just for us. Former owner: a female fire-eater! What could be more perfect?
And do we sleep well? Fantastically, dreamily, deeply--except when I drive Don to the couch with my snoring. I must do something about that.